A Heartbreaking but Happy Moment, For Which I Was Waiting For

May 6th 2012...

Heartbreaking but Happy ??!!!!!
Yeah... read this whole story... if you can.. :) :) and I am sure at the end you would be able to know, how that particular moment was heartbreaking as well as happy....

A page from his diary...Safar-The Journey

**** 

May 5th 2012

He was making himself strong; making himself emotionally prepared for the next moment, for that cruel moment, he was aware of, that some day it has to happen. He was thinking, how life could be so unmerciful and cruel to him, why it happens... why ???

'Soniyaa dil Todnaa Hi Tha, to Bataa Dil Kyu Lagaaya..." 

A track from movie 'Will You Marry Me' was being played on his HP laptop, giving a background music effect and adding some more to that heartbreaking moment.

He knew that, it was not going to be easy for him. 

He said, “I wish if I could ever tell… or dedicate this track…” -

" Tere naam ka kalma padhta hoon Aagoshey lub tujhe rakhta hoon..

Chalti saansein ruk jaati hai Jab yaad teri mujhe aati hai...”
Another track, from same movie that has changed automatically after the previous one.

Defiantly he was going to miss all those beautiful moments they had spent together. I could understand it easily. The way they used to spent whole day together, reading novels, watching movies, listening music and sharing their dreams during night. Ohhh!! No one could return those beautiful moments. He never wanted it to be repeated too, as he wanted it to be unique in his life... 

I asked him -WHY?

He was about to say something, he uttered something but he couldn't... finally he just pointed out to his laptop once again. I couldn't understand, some instrumental track was being played. I looked at him, as if I was asking WHAT?? 

Suddenly I heard Shafaqat Amanat Ali Khan’s voice; I turned at it and found it was coming from that stupid HP. Ooopppss!!!  Did I call it stupid?? Please don’t tell him, that I did so, or else he will kill me. I am sharing a secret that HP is very close to him… so please haa...

Well, I understood what he wanted to say when I heard it…

“Lafzon se jo tha pare...Khaalipan ko jo bhare

Kuchh to tha tere mere darmiyaan…

Benaam rishta woh, bechain karta jo

Ho naa sake jo bayaan, darmiyaan…

Darmiyaan Darmiyan...Darmeyaan Darmeyan

Kuchh tto tha tere-mere darmiyaan…”

This track from movie “Jodi Breakers” was being played, and it’s really a touching track. The situation was getting filmy and over reacting like those TV serials and at the same time these songs were making the scene more dramatic. I just turned off the music. He looked at me with a mixed expression of confusion and pain. Well, please don’t think that I was being harsh for him. I could easily understand his pain, but wanted to help him. 

Ohh!! I forgot to tell about them, how they met and why they were so close… how stupid am I !!!

They had met a just a week ago when he had met with an accident. And due to that accident they had met… It’s not that they hadn’t met earlier. It was also not that they were not going to meet never again. They had met earlier but were never so close, as this time, together almost every time. They had to meet again but again they were not going to be that close as a lot of other things were going to be between both of them.  After a care of one week, finally he was able to sit and walk now...  After all, he has to say good bye to those moments they had spent together… Ohhh!! He was behaving like he was in love with those moments. He said to me, “buddy, just wish it to never happen again. It’s really paining, please help me… I want to get rid of it. 

Wait, GET RID OF IT?? 

Well, lets make this suspense over... So who... better if I say,  what was it ??
It was his his bed... with all those novels scattered here and there... where he was enjoying   care of  his maa..paa..bro.. frnds... on which he was since his accident; he was saying good bye to. :) :) :) ....  well its  good isn't it.....

And he was wishing those moments never be back. Well who will wish so... but at the same time he was thankful to all those moments he had spent with his family and friends...talking to them... arguing on funny topics... chit-chat... enjoying comments from his bro(who was reading his personal mails and msg. on his behalf)...

Well, those songs ??? I don’t know for what they were; I think he was just creating a humor for himself to have a smile on my confusing expressions. Yeah, it’s his habit. Somehow he always manages to laugh even in the situations, no one could…

Well, he is fine now… after a long break of one week… he is back … just want to say thanks a lot to all of you for your wishes…  

I hope you know, about whom I am talking about… do you?? Really??  

Well then, I want to say something to you on his behalf… for all your care and wishes..

ऐ काश होता कोई ओहदा खुदा से बढकर...
ए दोस्त, उस पर तेरा हम नाम छोड़ जाते...
ग़ज़ल जो कोई होती, महफ़िल-ए-वफ़ा की..

हर हर्फ़ में, तेरी ख़ातिर, सलाम छोड़ जाते...

- Alok Kumar Upadhayay...
for all of you...

Special thanks to Mr. Umesh Kumar and Mr. Sanjeev, who saved me on that day and waited till the time my parents were there...  People like them really make me feel that even in this busy world, there are people who think about others... I was on that accident scene in the middle of the road for 3-5 minutes.. but it was a dreadful experience... will discuss about it later...

So... what do you say about this heartbreaking… I mean….. This moment … :) :) :) :) 


- Alok Kumar Upadhayay

Life - Teaching A New Lesson Every Moment

27 Dec 2011, 3:00 AM

It was a busy day today, little bit bad too....just because someone just passed torments just considering it to be fun, but somewhere deep inside it hurt me alot...

Yeah.. it hurts when after all your efforts someone passes ridiculous comments about your work, your efforts... about you.. .

Had a word with my Maa in late evening discussed with her about the day. As usual, I am feeling better after talking to her... .

She just said, remember one thing... just move ahead.. be the best and all these ridiculous things will never appear in your life...

"And how it will happen??" I asked. 

Just as it happened to every great personality in this world, rest you know... you have got everything... and you can do it.. I know you can...

 

3:30 AM ..........

Not feeling sleepy and have no novels to read. The best option in this case is to read my e-diary and I am doing the same....Scrolling through the pages of my e-diary, I just stopped at a page, written in bold, distinct from the page... I found this....

This was what Maa was saying.....

July 15, 2010

"If Someone has to be the best...the most successful..number one, then why not you???

You have all the same things the greatest of people have, hands, feet, a brain, 24 hours and the ability to use all of them. Then what is stopping you? Move ahead.. the peak is waiting for you... but will not wait forever...."

- Maa

Maa, You Are My World, My Life..Happy Mother's Day

हाथों की लकीरें बदल जाएँगी,        
गम की यह जंजीरें पिघल जाएँगी,
हो खुदा पे भी असर, तू दुआओं का है घर,
माँ, मेरी माँ, प्यारी माँ...
बिगड़ी किस्मत भी संवर जायेगी,
ज़िन्दगी तराने ख़ुशी के गाएगी,
तेरे होते किसका डर, तू दुआवों का है घर,
माँ, प्यारी माँ.... 

Mother... the very first word a child ever learns to speak....

Mother... the very first word we utter when we are in grief....

Mother...  a sacred word, respectable all over the world....
Mother... first person who make us to move in our life.

Mother is a divine word which is known for sacrifice,love,affection,devotion and attachment. Mother is the only one who ever thinks the best for her child no matter what. She can do anything for her child. She starts taking care of her baby even it is unborn. She just dream only to gift her child a best world to live. She starts dreaming about the kid's career from the very first day when her child opens his eyes in this world. She is the first teacher of us, who teaches us everything that we need to put our first step in this world... Mother always gives us direction so that we may not get in any trouble. Maa is always there to hold our hand when ever we are in difficulty. You must have experienced, no matter what happens, you must have always found your mother with you, to support you.She is the very first person who think about us. She sacrifices her own leisure so as to make her child delighted. She always wish for her kid's prosperous life.

If you ever want to feel like heaven, just go and put your head in your Maa's lap. I can say this because I feel it daily, when I return from my workplace. I am 22, still I love to spent few moments while feeling my Maa's love and care for me. You know, there is no alternative for Maa. 

It has been written in our holy books that the almighty God has created us... then its mother, who is God, because she has brought us in this world.
For me my Maa comes even before the God. Because the God can plan happiness & sorrow both for me, but I know that my Maa will always think for happiness of mine.

For me, my Maa is my ideal, my belief, my motivation and everything. Whatever I am, its all due to her.

She is my everything, she is my world....

All I want to say today is...

O Maa !!  I just want to live like a kid through out my life. The kid, who tries to walk by holding your fingers in his small hands, falls and then you take him in your lap. I never want to be away from your love, care and blessings.

तू ही मेरा सारा जहां  है..

तू ही मेरे रब की तरह है...

Tujhe Sab hai pataa hai naa maa........meri maa... 

Wish you a very happy mother's day...  Thank you Maa....

Women - A Beautiful Gift to Mankind from the God

उसने पुछा..

माँ, सुता, बहन, पत्नी, हर रूप में हूँ मैं, 

तुम्हारी ज़िन्दगी के हर लम्हे में हूँ मैं,

पर कभी ये तो बताओ, क्यों हूँ मैं ???

हम बस इतना ही कह पाए...

मेरी दुनिया, मेरे लम्हों में ग़र तू ना होती, 

तो मेरी साँसों को भी ज़िन्दगी से मोहब्बत ना होती...
           -- आलोक कुमार उपाध्याय...

Women, the most beautiful and admirable creation of the almighty and his gift to the mankind. 

Hereby, I want to say thanks and show my gratitude to all the known and unknown women for all they did for mankind as Mother, Sister, Friend, Love, Peer... and all the other ways, they have been making the life on this earth beautiful. A woman plays an all-enveloping character of a mother, daughter, wife and sister as a friend, nurturer, guide and partner from time to time. Indeed a woman’s essence lies in her innate ability to care, love and sacrifice for the other. Emotional and vulnerable, sometimes erratic, sometimes serene, she displays a wonderful range of emotions from being patient to being extremely courageous in times of crisis. What I love most about women is the perfect mix. The ultimate sensuality combined with nurturing, the cute naughtiness combined with caring, the vivacity coupled with quiet understanding.

Once I read some beautiful lines about women...you must have read it but still...I would like to share those lines...

"A women.. you can feel her in each and every part of your life in different ways....

Her Blessings in form of Grandmother, her Divinity as a Mother, her Passion in form of Beloved, her Dedication as a Wife, her Warmth, as a friend, her Care as a Sister.."

I am thankful to the God for showering his blessing as My Honorable Granny--who loves me alot.....My Respectable Maa --who has given me this wonderful life and making me efficient enough sometimes by love and being soft, sometimes by being tough and scolding me and any other way she felt the best for me......My Dear Aunts --we are favorite of each other.....My Adorable Cousins--angles from heaven for me...My Best Friend - the special one, who is inspiration to all my words and have made my life beautiful and has always been with me, each and every moment to share all my joy and grief and to hold me (I know u r there).... My respectable Teachers and My dear friends...

I have been experiencing my life in a wonderful way with the above.

Including all the known and unknown women, this post is specially dedicated to My Maa and the One…who has influenced my life the most.

I have spent so many moments with my Maa and my best friend and what I can say from my inner heart with my experience, for them is......It's really admirable how they are so wonderfully giving, caring and loving. The love, which is unconditional and forever. I have also experience that no matter how much they been by hurt by someone but once they forgive, they really forget. They don’t dig out the heavy artillery, even when they have the best opportunities to do so.I can say this because I have got this experience. I am short tempered. Sometimes in anger I badly hurt the other party... but thanks to them, who rather than showing attitude, help me and support me by holding me to overcome.

I have experienced it so lovely, both of them manage to hear me out for hours, no matter whenever I call or say.. I am missing you and want to talk to you...I hardly remember, if she has ever passed judgments on my creations or had said that, Alok, you are wrong. Even if I was wrong or had behaved like the worst jerk in the world (I confess, sometimes I really do). Whenever I have asked for opinion about my decisions, she gave it without managing to make me feel worm.

I have felt there smile, the real smile, no pretenses, the smiles from heart and the words from her eye, a loving smile, really the complete one. It suits her.. The smile, I can easily read saying "My dear, Whatever you are, however you are, I love you."

I have never been able enough to understand the unsaid.. to know the unspoken.. I tried alot, but I hardly remember the single incident I have understood that, what she want me to understand without saying... But she never complained..AM I RIGHT??? (This question is for the one.. who know me, what am I).

All I can say in brief is - 

Its only a heart of a woman, which makes her so charming, so sharing, so naughty and so melodious like anything. She is the live image of tenderness, care, and wisdom. No matter what happens.. she is always adorable and admirable. She is always beautiful like butterflies on flowers....

On this day. I want to say THANK YOU to all of you... for making the life on this earth so beautiful.....